


Bedless

by TragicianJai



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, M/M, Murphamy - Freeform, Murphy is a mess, The 100 - Freeform, drunken mother, modern day AU, sad Murphy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:03:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9649046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TragicianJai/pseuds/TragicianJai
Summary: //Title taken from Pierce The Veil's MisadventuresWhy am I the one falling apart?John Murphy struggles to come to terms with his fathers death, him being the only reason he still made an effort to get up in the morning. He's left with a mother turning to alcoholism and abuse while pining away for a boy who he'll never get.





	1. Keep tearing my world apart

Shrieking spilled through the walls of a beaten down, shabby house. The yells demanding for money and booze. There wasn't much Murphy could do about that though, he couldn't buy alcohol and he didn't have any money. His mom had made sure of that, taking away every last penny Murphy owned after the death of his father. It was his fault so it was obvious he would suffer the consequences of such things. He was told every day, by his supposedly caring mother, that he was responsible for the death of his beloved father. That he should never have been born, what a disappointment he was... the list went on.  
Murphy tended to focus on his schoolwork when he could, an attempt to shut out the ruins around him. His life was a mess and there was nothing he could do to change that. He could ignore it, sure. That was how he'd learnt to cope with the majority of it. Rest of the time, he tried to fight against it, that was the reason why he had a sort of bad reputation at school. He was bullied relentlessly by Finn Collins, Clarke Griffin and Raven Reyes. He'd done nothing to them, but did they give a fuck? No.   
As far as they were concerned, Murphy was a faggot, a waste of space. Now, that was partly true, he was a flaming homosexual, but a closeted flaming homosexual. And sure, he probably was a waste of space, it sure felt like he was. But he still fought back every time, he still ended up in the office with bruises covering his face and body. He figured that was the way he could deal with the emotional pain he felt inside. Just get beat down for real, he could focus on the physical pain instead.   
Plus, it could cover up whatever bruises he received at home. No one would think to question him on that bruise covering his lower jaw, or the way he tended to limp to class. Everyone would think he’d gotten into some sort of fight. Sure, he had, just not with who they thought he had.

The numbers on the clock changed from 5:59 AM to 6:00 AM, An Ode to No One by The Smashing Pumpkins began to blast out of the speakers and Murphy immediately shot up, slamming the stop button. He was wide awake; he didn’t need the clock to alert his mother to that. He could pretend he was still asleep even though he’d been awake for a good 4 hours now. He hadn’t slept much, maybe 2 hours. For the past 4 hours he’d been sitting reading his book that he’d borrowed from the school library. The Catcher in the Rye- it was a good book, interesting. But now he’d have to stop reading so he could get ready for another day of yelling.  
He managed to drag himself out of the warm pit he called a bed, tripping over a mound of clothing that had begun to build up near his bed. He made a mental note to take that to the launders after school as he cursed, falling flat on his face.  A groan escaped the poor boy, but he got up and gingerly made his way to the bathroom connected to his room. He stripped down, revealing his bruised body as he waited for the shower to actually heat up and stop spitting out ice cubes. He didn’t want to wake himself up with a freezing ass shower, but it didn’t seem like the shower was actually going to _stop_ spitting out ice cubes. Murphy grumbled and took a deep breath before shoving his way under the freezing cold stream of water pouring out of his shower head. He gasped, it was so cold it felt like it _burned_.  
“Fucking great way to start my fantastic day.” He spat out bitterly as he made quick work of washing his messy hair, he had no idea what he was doing with it, it just did its own thing and he’d given up caring. It didn’t look too bad he guessed. He could live with it.

After the freezing shock he had, Murphy dried himself off and pulled on his sorry excuse for a pair of jeans. There were holes all down the legs, the fabric was barely hanging together, the blue was faded, washed out, almost white. Whatever. He pulled on a t-shirt, just plain black, it was all that was the closest to clean he would manage. He was putting a hoodie on top of it anyways. A grey hoodie with, thankfully, a fleece lining. That way he wouldn’t actually freeze to death. Or he could at least try not to.  
He grabbed his bag, checking quickly to make sure he had all of the right books that he needed, and he did. He just shoved Catcher in the Rye in the bag and then zipped it, shoving his shoes on so the back of the shoe was bent in the way, he could fix that in a second.

Breakfast turned out to be a failed mission, there was no food in the house. Basically there was water, booze and mouldy bread. He was going to have to scrounge whatever money he could so he could go get some proper food. Proper food including lucky charms and pot noodles. He ate so well. Not.

Murphy had brushed his teeth and fixed his shoes when he heard the thump from upstairs before more yelling occurred and he knew that was his queue to leave the house as quickly as possible unless he wanted to turn up to school with a throbbing bruise on his cheek.

Luck was not on his side today.

The front door was locked so he had to find the keys, leaving his bag propped against the front door as he fumbled nervously in the bowl by the living area door.

“John!” His drunken mother slurred, all but falling down the stairs as she rushed in an attempt to catch him before he ran off out the house to school.

Murphy flinched and turned to look at his mother, the keys clutched in his hands. “What?” He snarled, he didn’t want to deal with her this early in the morning. Of course using that ‘tone of voice’ with his mother wasn’t a good plan either.

He saw it coming, but he stood still taking the slap across the face, a red mark and stinging left on his right cheek. He didn’t make a sound though, he wouldn’t give her the pleasure of letting her know that she had hurt him.

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that! Get out!” She yelled, her voice a wavering mess due to the state she was in.

Murphy didn’t hesitate, he had unlocked the door in 5 seconds and was out, slamming it behind himself in the process. His head down as he slowed his run, walking up to the bus stop. Where he would end up waiting a further 10 minutes for his bus to arrive and take him to school.

Finn was there already. So was Clarke. And Bellamy Blake- Murphy’s longtime crush. He would never admit this though, that would be stupid. No one could know how much he looked up to Bellamy while simultaneously despising him.

Stupid asshole with his pretty much perfect life. His mother wasn’t a drunken mess, he didn’t need to take care of himself the way Murphy did.

His footsteps slowed to a stop as he reached the bus stop, leaning against the corner, shivering as he waited on the bus to come. He kept his head down hoping to god that no one would bother trying to talk to him.

But as mentioned before, luck wasn’t on his side today.

“Hey faggot.” Finn snickered, walking up to the skinny boy.

Murphy inwardly sighed, not looking up at Finn or responding. Maybe, just maybe, he’d leave him alone today.

“Look at me when I speak to you.” Finn snapped, grabbing Murphy by the collar and forcing the shorter boy to look at him.

Murphy glared at Finn, his eyes narrowing as he waited for Finn to say something else. He knew that the slap he’d received from his mother was showing on his face.

“What? Did mommy hit you?” Clarke laughed, walking over to join Finn in taunting Murphy. “Oh no, is he gonna cry?” She found Murphy’s pain amusing.

Murphy blinked back the tears, they couldn’t fucking know that she hit him. He spat in Clarke’s face. “Bitch.”

Clarke gasped, wiping the boys saliva off of her cheek while Finn immediately punched Murphy, in the eye before banging his head off the bus stop’s wall and shoving him to the ground.

Great start Murphy, good job.

He held back the whimper rising in his throat, sitting there with his head hanging hoping to god that they would stop. Clarke had asked for that.

Finn kicked Murphy in the face though, forcing his head to snap back. “Don’t you ever dare do that again.” He growled, eyes dark as he looked at the boy with blood pouring out of his nose and a bloody, split lip.

Murphy nodded, staying silent this time instead of retaliating.

That was when Bellamy came over. “Guys, just leave him alone. He’s really not worth it.” The boy sighed, taking hold of Finn’s arm and dragging him away from the boy sitting on the floor. Bellamy gave Murphy another glance and frowned, seeing his bloody nose and split lip, bruising eye and the hand print on his cheek.

The taller boy hesitated a moment before walking back over to Murphy, alone this time and handing him a tissue. “Clean yourself up.” He sighed, dropping another couple into Murphy’s lap before going back to Clarke and Finn.

Murphy gazed after Bellamy for a second before quickly pressing the tissue to his nose in an attempt to stop the blood from rolling down his face and staining his hoodie. The day had hardly begun and he was already a mess. Bellamy had spoken to him though, stopped Finn from beating him up anymore. That was a good thing.

Bring on the rest of the day, how could it get any worse?


	2. Tell me what you want until it hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy's morning continued.. it's not going well. 
> 
> I have exams currently, I'm procrastinating by writing this chapter, you're welcome.

Murphy felt like utter shit by the time the bus arrived, his face was throbbing and he just wanted to crawl into his bed and _die_. But of course, he couldn't do that. No, he had an entire day of school ahead of him that had to get over and done with first. How fucking great was that? Fantastic. He was sitting near the front of the bus, alone and hunched over so no one could see his face. His hood was pulled up for good measure. Yet all he could hear was Finn, Clark, Raven and Bellamy sitting behind him laughing and chatting about their weekend and how great it had been. Woo-hoo for fucking them, that's fantastic. Not really, only for Bellamy. He was sitting boasting about the great weekend he'd had with his mom and little sister, they'd gone out for dinner and had the best time. 

Yet, there was Murphy, he had the shittiest weekend possible. He'd been pushed down the stairs on Friday evening and told to clean the kitchen. With what? he wasn't so sure because his mom hadn't gone shopping in god knows how long. He was surprised he wasn't skinnier than he was with how little he ate. All he'd managed all weekend was two sandwiches, and that was only because he'd gone out to the supermarket and found some really cheap ready-made ones in the fridge aisle. That had been a very lucky find, but even then, he probably wouldn't have been all that hungry even if he hadn't ate. That's how used he was to not eating. Probably not a good thing, but that's just how it was. Saturday had been shit too, he'd basically spent the day in his room after being to the shops and studied so he could forget about his aching body. Hopefully he wouldn't fail the quiz in history today just because of that five hour study session. Sunday had been a waste, he'd stayed in bed all day and looked online for places he could get a job so he would maybe be able to feed himself and clean the house. He didn't suppose many people would want to accept him though, he looked homeless half the time, he was underweight... the list went on. 

Murphy felt something hit the back of his head, he turned round with a frown on his face. Could people just not bother him? He wanted to be left alone. But... the person staring back at him was Bellamy and he looked a little guilty, "Sorry! I didn't mean to hit you." He offered the other boy a smile, clearly hoping Murphy would't maul him for the accident. 

"Bell, don't apologize to him, he's an asshole." Raven told him loudly, so Murphy could hear (obviously), holding onto Bellamy's arm. She was always glued to his side, flirting with him though Murphy wasn't sure Bellamy liked it all that much, he usually moved her off of him as soon as he could. Which made him pretty happy to be honest. He didn't want to see other people hanging off his crush, that hurt his heart. Did he even have a heart though? It didn't feel like it, Murphy was sure he just had a black empty hole in his chest which is why he was such an uncaring prick to everyone around him. He wished he could be as nice and as caring as the other, taller boy. But that was a wish that would never be granted. 

Murphy hesitated before shrugging towards Bellamy and turning away, he didn't want to listen to the rest of that group putting him down, he did that enough himself and received more than enough criticism from home to last him a lifetime. He curled up in his chair again, head against the window as he listened to the group begin to bitch about what an ass he was. This was a daily occurrence, the group voicing their opinions of him extremely loudly. No one else spoke to Murphy, so he was always left alone with those thoughts and the words echoing around his head. He wasn't good enough. 

The bus pulled up outside school and Murphy was off the bus in an instant, ignoring the pain he was feeling as he practically legged it up to the doors. If he got in fast enough he'd be able to get to his first class and avoid being bullied any more. For at least an hour anyways. He was going to be early, but he knew the teacher didn't mind, he just sat in the back corner and read his book. He really wasn't a bother most of the time, it was only when he was provoked and insulted that he would cause a riot. 

He was sitting in the back of the room within the next five minutes, and he still had a good 20 minutes till class started, so, he pulled his book out and sat silently, drinking in the words off the page. He loved reading, it took him away from the pain that was his reality and gave him a new one to live in, he could imagine himself there with the characters, even just in the background. In a world where he wasn't relentlessly bullied, where he was possibly dating a super hot boy that took care of him and treated him like a princess because deep down that was what he wanted, even if his outwards appearance and attitude made it seem otherwise. 

Other students began to make their way into the classroom, chatting loudly and interrupting Murphy's concentration, so he put his book away and sat quietly, fidgeting with the sleeves of his hoodie. The one item of clothing he had on that wasn't falling apart. Haha, his clothing symbolized his life, falling apart... not funny Murphy, shut up. The class started soon enough and everyone took their seats, listening as the teacher began to talk about the work they were doing currently in class. Murphy listened and took notes, he did honestly want to do well in his classes and he tried his very best. He wasn't gonna slack off.

Obviously class was uneventful, next it was History and that passed by fairly quickly, Murphy was sure he'd done okay on the quiz they'd been given. He wasn't holding his hopes out for full marks because he never got anything that good in his life. He was lucky to get half of anything on a good day. But he dealt with it, wasn't like he was dying. Yet. No, he wasn't there yet, maybe not far unless he managed to feed himself. But, he'd see, what happened happened. Wasn't like his life was much good anyways, he could deal with losing it. Maybe dying would be a blessing considering how shitty the week had begun. That way he wouldn't have to deal with any more bullies or his mother ever again. But then he would never get to see Bellamy's gorgeous face again, now, that was awful. He didn't want to miss that, or possibly miss a glimpse of his toned abs. 

Gym was after lunch; maybe he could get a glimpse then, maybe that would cheer him up some. But, he had to survive till after lunch for that, and he wasn't planning on taking much part in the lesson, his body ached too much for him to be able to properly play the games they would be playing. Lunch would be hard enough to get through anyways, getting through it without any abuse would be a miracle and rarely happened. And, as before mentioned, luck was not on his side today. 


End file.
